micah takes photographs

oh, hey. what’s up?

it’s thanksgiving, pretty much. my nana’s coming tonight. my dad is cleaning, which i always feel a bit guilty for, especially when im working, because i imagine to him it looks like i’m just hanging out, watching youtube videos or something. plus, he’s awfully impatient.

i think i’ve been playing as hard as i work lately. people are popping back up – nick’s around now (though, barely), and heather came back home for a while. heather. ohhhh heather. heather & i had plans to go visit shane (who’s in new mexico, studying) for thanksgiving. we put off making real plans, until finally we didn’t, and bought a bus ticket to NYC & a plane ride to Santa Fe. I paid for everything under the pretense of heather paying me back when she had some money. The next day, the airplane purchasing company sent me an email saying that the seats had not been available like they’d promised, so they were giving my money back. And we looked for new plane tickets, but the prices had all shot up 400%. We tried to cancel our bus tickets, but it was too late, so we complained to the airplane company, and they gave me some vouchers that cover 85% of the price. shane seemed pretty disappointed, but i got the impression he half expected a failure, because we took so long to make plans.

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and one last complaintment. caroline has been making things awfully difficult lately. she calls them mood swings, but the past few weeks i can only count a handful of upswings. she seems to have this hopeless perspective, like the only thing that matters is that the bills need paying, and there’s no point in having dreams or trying to make life incredible. it could be any number of things making her feel this way (the first of which i question whether it’s that she doesn’t want to work with me anymore), but she doesn’t want to talk about it, and no matter what i try, i can’t seem to help her. im hardly giving up, but it’s been taxing on my morale. i’ve been pouring myself into a good portfolio to take hide, and it’s been working well enough. i’ve made some major improvements, hopefully ones that’ll make us money. i just don’t know what to do.

now. things may seem dire, but all is not unwell. i’ve been doing fun things lately, though specific stories escape me. this whole home thing is an effort to teach myself to love what i already have, and i really have a lot to appreciate. i spend a lot of time in my house, which is a really fantastic house. i spend a lot of time with my dog, who to me is a brother. he’s so old, but it feels more like he’s a sick younger brother, that i’m taking care of. dana and i have been getting really close, and i’m not used to how cool a serious relationship can be. and even with work, it may be fractured, but i’m still really proud of how much i’ve had to teach myself, how much i’ve accomplished with this programming & business crap. so while thanksgiving in my family has never been as much about giving thanks as it’s been about eating food, i feel like i’ve been grateful a lot lately, and i’m kind of proud that that’s getting to be a habit.