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moustache monday prep
Sunday, March 09 2008
today i played basketball with a handful of guys from digital media. very awesome. exhausting, but awesome. i felt like i was gonna die after game #1, but game #2 and game #3 i was decent. not un-tired, but alive. we went to rinaldi’s sandwich shoppe after, where they were out of every kind of bread except wheat. still delicious sandwiches, though. i made some interesting vegan dishes today. raw alfredo with zucchini noodles, which doesnt taste much like alfredo but is good none the less. it’s 230 am and i have class all day tomorrow. also, i told my dad about my summer plans and he seemed okay with them. working freelance from home while i try to find a job. going to hawaii. oh. and i finally think i’ve got a handle on my computer’s filing system. im tired.
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sometimes i really miss you. i find myself listening to songs you wrote, going through pictures you took, remembering. thinking of you, listening to your music especially, makes me want to do something bigger with my life. makes me want to take chances and be original and different. but sometimes the reality that strikes me afterwards is more painful than missing you. you see, i realize that i don’t think i am that type of person. i think thats why things have been weird, between us. i’ve realized that as much as i want to be that type of person, especially for you, im just not. i dont do anything particularly special or unique. i go to a normal college and do normal things that college kids do, like studying and going out and wearing sweatpants to class. its just that everything about you makes me want to be so much more, and it just hurts to know that im not. that i cant be the type of person i want to be for you, or for me. im destined to follow the crowds, at least for now. but i guess thinking of you gives me hope. because you are more the type of person that i want to be than i already am. i just dont think i have what it takes. to abandon the familiar, to take a chance, to be like micah rich.
said erika, 10 months ago